How does it feel when your dreams are shattered into a million pieces?

It feels like CRAP!!!  I've pretty much been looking forward to going to Jerusalem for I don't know, at least three years. I finally have the money, I fill out the application and I get everything turned in, and I got the rejection letter today. I didn't even make the waiting list. I have been convinced that I was gonna go to Jerusalem, and now to be so close and not make it.. ugh... It's just hard. I know everything will be fine, everything happens for a reason, but that's hard to remember when all you want to do is throw something at the wall and cry into your pillow. DANG IT. Instead I'll just rant/cry about it on the internet... Much better use of my feelings I'd say... :P Or wallow into some ice cream... The excitement I had when I saw the letter in the mailbox, I was convinced I was getting in, I was just looking for the "Congratulations..." But no.. I got the "Unfortunately". That is a mean little word, unfortunately. Staring at you, haunting you, ruining your wonderful mood.. Throwing you into an awful spiral of sadness and depression and angst. But who knows, this may be for the better. It means I don't have to take O-Chem during the summer... That's good, right? lol... Well, I'm not giving up without a fight.. I'll just reapply in October, and everything will work out... I'm hoping anyways.